Latest email Mood: mischievious Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Haven't emailed this yet, cause hotmail's down, but here's a glimpse of what's to come.
Hello, my darling Uche
Oh, Uche, my health is not so good I'm afraid. The dinosaur egg that I ate apparently had an alien in it and it is eating my insides! I fear that I may be in dire need very soon. Perhaps if I pass away, I can leave my estate to the children? Or do you think that I will go quickly and should send them everything in my account right now? So the check has already been sent? Maybe I should just send it back to you so that you know I haven't cashed it and you can have the car for free. Do you think that would be a good enough gift for the children? Uche, you are such a wonderful person, I would love to visit you in jolly old England. Do you think that we could meet somewhere soon? Where in England do you live? How old are you? What do you look like? I hope that I'm not being too forward. Just so you know, I'm 38 and have brackish hair, blue-yellow nose and an olive complexion. I'm 5'2" and 176 pounds. It sounds heavy, I know, but I'm really all muscle. Before the egg incident, I worked out religiously for several hours a day and also bathed in butterscotch twice a week. Alas, with my failing health I can no longer ride hamsters; I'm afraid that I might fall off and break my chrysanthemum! I left my checkbook at home today, but I'm hoping that I will have time this weekend to send the sweet, yummy children some funds. They do not have a western union near where I live, so I'm hoping that your kind friend Mr. Brown will accept a check. I haven't contacted him yet, I'm afraid. I hope that he doesn't think that I won't contribute to the motherless babies foundation. If you see him, please tell him to wait for my correspondence, I am planning on sending him the money. I look forward to your reply, however I will be going in to the hospital tonight for some testing due to my ailing health. I hope to be home tomorrow afternoon, if not then, perhaps Sunday. I will ask the nurses if I can have a computer in my room, I hope that they are nice and grant me my request, because I don't want to miss a second of speaking with you.
With affection,
Jen
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:33 PM EST
You aren't going to believe this Mood: incredulous Now Playing: LOTR Steward of Gondor Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
He responded?!?! This guy is just so greedy that he could care less what I say! I didn't know that it was possible for his English to get any worse, but it certainly has.
Hello Jenny, Thanks for the reply and how is your heaith now i hope all is well now. The cheque have been send and i will let you know when you will received the cheque because is come by regular mail from london. the children i believed the lord want you to help them that is why he has send me to you, just help them out in any way you can and i know they will appericate all you can donate to them. Mr Gavin Brown is the Account Manager and a nice Guy to be with all you need doing is to help the homes and when i pay for the car you can also send them any amount you which to send again. The chldren need you and you help them will go a long way in taking care of 15 children for a week. Do not thing you don't have the money God will blessed you 100 times what you have send to them they need you to help them do that and the Good Lord we Blessed you. Uche..
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 3:55 PM EST
I may have taken it too far this time Mood: mischievious Now Playing: Dave Matthews Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
I've finally emailed Mr. Chima a response. I had to really think about this one, since I want to keep this going as long as possible without having him think that it's all B.S. See below for my latest response to our clueless villain!
Hi Uche!
I'm sorry that I didn't email you yesterday, either. I fell ill after eating some tainted dinosaur eggs. They are a delicacy here in the US, have you tried them before? I did receive Mr. Brown's email and I am scraping together the pennies in my piggy bank to give to the poor children. Did you ask him about adoption? I really like eating children. They are the Lord's gift to all of us, such a delicious feast! The Lord shall bless you one hundred times for doing all that you do with the children. I have warned my neighbors to stay away from my mailbox, as I do not trust them near the check that you are sending. I showed them the attack ferret that I keep in my toilet for times that they misbehave. Once I had to actually use the ferret, he will chew off your feet if you look at him the wrong way! I fear for my life, as I only feed him occasionally. But enough about me, listen to me rambling on like a crazy woman, all that matters is the children and me selling them my car.
Speaking of the car, have you mailed the check yet? I am very anxious to receive it! Perhaps you could even give half of the money that you are going to send me for the car to the children at the motherless home! That would be a nice gesture, I think. Please get back to me as soon as possible as I am anxious to help the poor, sweet, tasty babies. Thank you so much and may God bless you!
Your friend, Jenny
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 11:07 AM EST
Gettin' the government involved! Mood: suave Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Hopefully I'll get this guy cooked, but who knows... I just sent an email to the UK fraud people, following is what I sent:
Hi, I'm from the U.S. and would like to alert you to a scam artist who is posing as someone from a UK orphanage. This all started when someone emailed me asking about a car that I had for sale (on the internet). They asked me for bank information and I became suspicious. Well, since then I've been stringing said person along, they claimed that they needed the car right away because it was for the "Motherless babies home" in London. I traced the IP addresses of both parties that emailed me (Uche Chima and this guy) and they both came up with the same info, so I know that it's a fraud. FYI, here is what I got: Chibuzor Orie address: 157 Mushin Roud, Isolo, Lagos, Nigeria phone: +234-1-7743447 e-mail: enyioranetcafe@yahoo.com nic-hdl: CO229-RIPE changed: noc@sky-vision.net 20030227 source: RIPE
I know there's probably not a lot that you can do, but I'd like you to have the info anyway. Please contact me if there's anything I can do to help.
>Hello Jenny, > I know you will ask your self how do we get your E-mail Mr Uche Chima gave also your E-mail that you will like to donate to the homes which is well come. You can send the funds to this information below by western union money transfer today and the information are: > >MR GAVIN BROWN >43 Prince Charles Crescent >Malinslee >Telford >TF3 2JY >UK > >As soon as the money is transfer Via western union money transfer i will need the following information from you to collect the funds here, and they are: > >SENDER'S NAME/ADDRESS: > >RECEIVER'S NAME: > >TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER: > >MCTN (CONTROL NUMBER): > >As soon as will collect the funds a letter of thanks will be send to you from the homes to say thnaks for the help. >And the children we appericate all you have done for them for a long time, because Mr Uche Chima is doing the same for us right now. Do get back at us. >WITH LOVE FROM THE HOMES AND THE CHILDREN WE WELCOME YOU. >Regards, >Gavin Brown >Account Manager >Lawrence orhanage. >--
I also sent the above message to the Secret Service Financial Crimes Division.. hopefully they'll read it and at least get some amusement out of the conversation! Funny how well I can still type with this lobotomy, isn't it?
Below you can read Uche's response to my email.
Hello Jenny, Am sorry for not get at you yestaday, it was because of my jobs yestaday but this is the E-mail addresss of the home lawrencejoe@graffiti.net you can get in contact with there Account manager Mr Gavin Brown and i have inform him about you given them money for the homes development he may contact you today on that and the amount you ask me any thing your mind say you should give. Do get back as soon as you received this mail. Thanks, Uche..
So funny... I just can't believe that he fell for all that. What a dumb crook!!!
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 1:50 PM EST
Uche just doesn't get it, does he? Mood: mischievious Now Playing: HFS Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Here is the latest email that I received from him:
> >Hello Lauren, > Thanks for the understanding and the believed in children that they are the hope of the world. I love children and am not working with them all i do for them is help them out in all there program that is not beyone my rich you can also help them by send some funds to there account manager that way the lord will be bless you so much that you will tell hime to stop. The check wll be received next week and as soon as you received it do let me know because have made arrangement with a local shipping company that will come for the pick up of the car form your location. Thanks, >Uche.. >
Getting even more greedy now, isn't he? Wow, I can send money for the children! He really thinks that he's got me now... notice how he called me Lauren even though I told him my name was Jenny. I can't wait to see how he replies to me next. I guess that I'll have to contact the place wherever he tells me that he's sending the check so that they won't think that there's a bomb or any crazy biological threat in it. The secret service might freak out or something and it'd be all my fault. I'm sure that other people have done the same thing, though. I'll forward them all of the messages that he's sent me. Anyway, see below for my reply. :) (btw, Cakes is still in the box, he's been in there for 9 hours now, go to Junkies Radio for info about the challenge... it's pretty funny... they're really torturing him.
ANyway, here is my latest email to Uche:
-----Original Message----- From: Lauren Grande [mailto:loveshoe@hotmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 11:56 AM To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
Hello again, Uche!
That is so wonderful that you believe in children. If only everyone were like you, this world would be a much better place. I am still interested in adopting one of them with curly hair and blue eyes! Do they have monkeys there, too? Some of those places here take in abandoned monkeys and raise them right alongside the children. What a wonderful program, since I am
also an animal lover. Do you love animals? Back to the children, though, I will be happy to send some money to their account manager if you would please give me the address. How much do you recommend that I donate? Do you know if that contribution would be tax deductible? The Lord cannot bless me anymore than he already has by allowing you to contact me about my car! Helping others in need is such a great feeling. You will notice on my listing that I posted that the car has been sold. I emailed them today to ask that my listing be taken down, since you are the buyer. So you can rest assured that I will have the car available for your shipper to come pick up. What address are you sending the check to, my work address? I hope so, because my neighbors like to steal my mail and that would be horrible if
they take my check! Then I might have to hurt them badly, like I hurt the neighbors who lived there before.
I'm looking forward to receiving your check and also for the motherless babies to drive the car! Please let me know as soon as you send the check so that I can be looking for it. By the way, where are you from again? I can't remember what you said before, my memory is kind of bad because of the lobotomy that I had a few years ago.
Thanks a bunch!
Jen
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:19 PM EST
Fun with scammers Mood: mischievious Now Playing: Cry me a river Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
My "work address": United States Seafood, Frozen Crabs Department = United State Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division.
My "home address": MD State Police Barracks in Glen Burnie.
If this guy falls for my email, I'm just going to die laughing.
-----Original Message----- From: Lauren Grande [mailto:loveshoe@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 2004 11:32 AM To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
Hi Uche,
I'm sorry for not trusting you, but you can never be too sure these days! I'm glad that we got that all cleared away, because now I feel much better about all of this. And of course I want to get this done ASAP for you, since the car is for the motherless baby home... it makes me feel so good to help out those in need. Do you work with them, too? I take it that you are in London as well? I'd love to visit there someday. Maybe I could even visit the motherless babies while I'm there! I've been wanting to adopt for a while... are there any children there that you could recommend? My ideal child would have blonde hair and lots of freckles.
Anyway, I hope that having you send me the check will be okay. I'm still leery about giving out personal information... as a matter of fact, this account is under a false name, I'm sorry for misleading you. My real name is Jen, I hope that you don't think any less of me or don't want the car anymore. By the way, what shipper will you be using so I will know who I'm talking to if they call me? I am anxious to get the money... I have had the car for a long time and I have had trouble selling it. The dealer would only give me $50 if I traded it in, can you believe that?
Here is my information, if you don't mind, could you send it to me at work? If that's a problem, I've listed my home address.
Name: Jenny Craig Phone Number: 410-867-5309 Address: USS FCD 950 H St. N.W., Washington, DC 20223 (work -- United States Seafood, Frozen Crabs Department) or home 6800 Aviation Boulevard Glen Burnie, MD 21061
I'm looking forward to your response... I'm so glad that I can help the motherless babies... I know that they will love driving the car!
Talk to you soon!
Your friend, Jen
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: RE: PAYMENT Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 01:20:47 +0800
Hello Lauren, Thanks for the understanding. But i am more comforable with the transfer but if you do not like it i want you to forward the following information so that i will issue out a check with the fomation you will provied and this are the information needed from you they are:
FULL NAME: (that will be on the check) HOME ADDRESS: (were the check will be sent to you) PHONE NUMBER: (cell,home,office) As soon as i have this infromation a check will be issue out to you, and will wait for the clearing of the check before my shipper will come for pick if you are ok with this do get back at me because the car in question is for the motherless baby home in london. Do get back with this information as soon as possible.
Regards,
Uche Chima..
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 09:22:17 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
I'm sorry if you feel that I am being unfair, but I have been warned about a lot of scammers asking for personal information. I don't feel comfortable giving someone that I don't know my personal information. If you are not in this state, how are you planning on picking up the car?
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: RE: PAYMENT Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 18:06:18 +0800
What do you mean by calling me a scam, you can go to hell with your car for all i know. If i should ask you to give me your home that i will send you a check will you accept that for payment?
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 17:03:11 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
I hope that you aren't trying to scam me. There is absolutely no reason that you need that information. I'll be happy to forward your information on the the FTC.
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: PAYMENT Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2004 03:02:34 +0800
Hello Lauren, Thanks for the reply. I would have love to have a look at the car but am not in the state all i want you to do is to send me a pic of the car and i will wire the $1,500 to your account as soon as you provied me with the information below:
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
BANK PHONE:
ACCOUNT BENEIFIARY:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
ROUTING NUMBER:
SWIFT CODE:
When i have all this information the funds will be wire transfer to your account as soon as possible do get back if you are ok with this deal. Uche..
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 13:35:05 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: Owner 52726703: AutoTrader.com: Vehicle Lead
Yes, the car is still available, and there are several people interested in it. If you would like to see it this weekend (or any other time), let me know.
Thanks, Lauren
From: dealerleads@autotrader.com Reply-To: marcus1780@fastermal.com To: loveshoe@hotmail.com Subject: Owner 52726703: AutoTrader.com: Vehicle Lead Date: Fri, 5 Mar 2004 12:24:57 -0500 (EST)
***VEHICLE LEAD***
The following lead was generated from AutoTrader.com's web site
http://www.autotrader.com.
VEHICLE INFORMATION Make: Volkswagen Model: Jetta Year: 1995 Price: 1500 Mileage: 159000 Body Style: Sedan Color: White Cylinders: 4 Cylinder Gasoline Transmission: Manual Doors: Four Door Stereo: Unavailable VIN: 3VWRB81HXSM016997 has NOT been MD inspected. This is a great little car, it just needs some TLC. Please email me if you have questions!
NO PHONE CALLS!
See additional photos & CARFAX here: https://loveshoe.tripod.com/loveshoeslittlenest/id10.html
BUYER INFO Name: uche chima E-Mail Address: marcus1780@fastermal.com Comments: IS THE CAR AVALIABLE $1,400.
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 11:57 AM EST
Foreign scam artists -- The beginning of the Saga of Uche! Mood: incredulous Now Playing: Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
It's funny how ridiculous these scams are. I've got someone in God-knows-what-forsaken-country (Nigeria, btw) trying to get me to fall for a scam. Following is my email conversation with them... you'll get a kick out of it!! I particularly like the "motherless baby home" approach!!
>From: "uche chima" >To: "Lauren Grande" >Subject: RE: PAYMENT >Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 01:20:47 +0800 > >Hello Lauren, > Thanks for the understanding. But i am more comforable with the >transfer but if you do not like it i want you to forward the following >information so that i will issue out a check with the fomation you will >provied and this are the information needed from you they are: > >FULL NAME: (that will be on the check) >HOME ADDRESS: (were the check will be sent to you) >PHONE NUMBER: (cell,home,office) >As soon as i have this infromation a check will be issue out to you, >and >will wait for the clearing of the check before my shipper will come for >pick if you are ok with this do get back at me because the car in question >is for the motherless baby home in london. Do get back with this >information as soon as possible. > >Regards, > >Uche Chima.. >
>----- Original Message ----- >From: "Lauren Grande" >Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 09:22:17 -0500 >To: marcus1780@fastermail.com >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > > I'm sorry if you feel that I am being unfair, but I have been warned >about a > > lot of scammers asking for personal information. I don't feel >comfortable > > giving someone that I don't know my personal information. If you > > are >not in > > this state, how are you planning on picking up the car? > > > > > > >From: "uche chima" > > >To: "Lauren Grande" > > >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > >Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 18:06:18 +0800 > > > > > >What do you mean by calling me a scam, you can go to hell with your > > >car >for > > >all i know. If i should ask you to give me your home that i will > > >send >you a > > >check will you accept that for payment? > > > > > >----- Original Message ----- > > >From: "Lauren Grande" > > >Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 17:03:11 -0500 > > >To: marcus1780@fastermail.com > > >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > > > > > > I hope that you aren't trying to scam me. There is absolutely > > > > no >reason > > > > that you need that information. I'll be happy to forward your > > >information > > > > on the the FTC. > > > > > > > > >From: "uche chima" > > > > >To: "Lauren Grande" > > > > >Subject: PAYMENT > > > > >Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2004 03:02:34 +0800 > > > > > > > > > >Hello Lauren, > > > > > Thanks for the reply. I would have love to have a look at > > > > >the >car > > >but > > > > >am not in the state all i want you to do is to send me a pic of > > > > >the >car > > >and > > > > >i will wire the $1,500 to your account as soon as you provied > > > > >me >with > > >the > > > > >information below: > > > > > > > > > >BANK NAME: > > > > >BANK ADDRESS: > > > > >BANK PHONE: > > > > >ACCOUNT BENEIFIARY: > > > > >ACCOUNT NUMBER: > > > > >ROUTING NUMBER: > > > > >SWIFT CODE: > > > > > > > > > >When i have all this information the funds will be wire > > > > >transfer to > > >your > > > > >account as soon as possible do get back if you are ok with this >deal. > > > > >Uche..
> > > > > > Yes, the car is still available, and there are several > > > > > > people > > >interested > > > > >in > > > > > > it. If you would like to see it this weekend (or any other >time), > > >let > > > > >me > > > > > > know.
I'm thinking of having a little fun and seeing if they notice some info that I'm going to give them. I think that I'll give them my phone number... 867-5309!!
***UPDATED March 24, 2004 -- this entry is the beginning of the Uche drama***
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:07 PM EST
mischievious
incredulous
suave