Gettin' the government involved! Mood: suave Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Hopefully I'll get this guy cooked, but who knows... I just sent an email to the UK fraud people, following is what I sent:
Hi, I'm from the U.S. and would like to alert you to a scam artist who is posing as someone from a UK orphanage. This all started when someone emailed me asking about a car that I had for sale (on the internet). They asked me for bank information and I became suspicious. Well, since then I've been stringing said person along, they claimed that they needed the car right away because it was for the "Motherless babies home" in London. I traced the IP addresses of both parties that emailed me (Uche Chima and this guy) and they both came up with the same info, so I know that it's a fraud. FYI, here is what I got: Chibuzor Orie address: 157 Mushin Roud, Isolo, Lagos, Nigeria phone: +234-1-7743447 e-mail: enyioranetcafe@yahoo.com nic-hdl: CO229-RIPE changed: noc@sky-vision.net 20030227 source: RIPE
I know there's probably not a lot that you can do, but I'd like you to have the info anyway. Please contact me if there's anything I can do to help.
>Hello Jenny, > I know you will ask your self how do we get your E-mail Mr Uche Chima gave also your E-mail that you will like to donate to the homes which is well come. You can send the funds to this information below by western union money transfer today and the information are: > >MR GAVIN BROWN >43 Prince Charles Crescent >Malinslee >Telford >TF3 2JY >UK > >As soon as the money is transfer Via western union money transfer i will need the following information from you to collect the funds here, and they are: > >SENDER'S NAME/ADDRESS: > >RECEIVER'S NAME: > >TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER: > >MCTN (CONTROL NUMBER): > >As soon as will collect the funds a letter of thanks will be send to you from the homes to say thnaks for the help. >And the children we appericate all you have done for them for a long time, because Mr Uche Chima is doing the same for us right now. Do get back at us. >WITH LOVE FROM THE HOMES AND THE CHILDREN WE WELCOME YOU. >Regards, >Gavin Brown >Account Manager >Lawrence orhanage. >--
I also sent the above message to the Secret Service Financial Crimes Division.. hopefully they'll read it and at least get some amusement out of the conversation! Funny how well I can still type with this lobotomy, isn't it?
Below you can read Uche's response to my email.
Hello Jenny, Am sorry for not get at you yestaday, it was because of my jobs yestaday but this is the E-mail addresss of the home lawrencejoe@graffiti.net you can get in contact with there Account manager Mr Gavin Brown and i have inform him about you given them money for the homes development he may contact you today on that and the amount you ask me any thing your mind say you should give. Do get back as soon as you received this mail. Thanks, Uche..
So funny... I just can't believe that he fell for all that. What a dumb crook!!!
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 1:50 PM EST
Guinness book of world records Mood: quizzical Now Playing: That band that was formed with the remaining members of RATM and Chris Cornell??? I can't remember their name.. Topic: Weird shit
Doh, I just remembered.... Audioslave!
Anyway, this is a little disturbing and even rather depressiong. See the Guinness Book of World Records page by clicking here.
Here is the text from the page in case you don't feel like leaving:
Longest Surviving Headless Chicken On September 10, 1945, a Wyandotte chicken belonging to Lloyd Olsen of Fruita, Colorado, USA, had its head chopped off, but went on to survive for 18 months. Mike's owner, Lloyd Olsen of Fruita, Colorada, USA, fed and watered the headless chicken directly into his gullet using an eyedropper. Mike eventually choked to death one night in an Arizona motel.
FIND OUT MORE Sceptical scientists thought it was a hoax, so one week into Mike-the-headless-chicken's physically-altered life, farmer Lloyd Olsen packed Mike up and took him on a cross-country tour from Fruita, Colorado to the University Of Utah in Salt Lake City. The axe blade, scientists discovered, had missed the five-and-a-half month old Wyandotte rooster's jugular vein, and a clot had saved the chicken from bleeding to death.
Because Lloyd had aimed the axe so high, most of the brain stem was left at the top of the spine. One ear had also survived. Mike, it seemed, had lost the power to see and to cluck, but could still hear and think. Mike was also growing, weighing 1.1 kg. (2.5 lb.) when he first lost his head, and developing to a respectable 3.6 kg. (8 lb.) by the time he passed away.
Celebrity status was guaranteed when a manager took the chicken on a national tour, and his story was reported in well-respected news magazines Life and Time. Like many legendary celebrities, Mike's life ended in a hotel room. Mike began to choke and Lloyd was unable to find the eyedropper to clear Mike's esophagus. It was the end of the road for Mighty Mike. Gone but certainly not forgotten, Mike's life is celebrated each year by Fruita residents, who simply remember him as, "a big, fat chicken who didn't know he didn't have a head".
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:23 PM EST
Uche just doesn't get it, does he? Mood: mischievious Now Playing: HFS Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Here is the latest email that I received from him:
> >Hello Lauren, > Thanks for the understanding and the believed in children that they are the hope of the world. I love children and am not working with them all i do for them is help them out in all there program that is not beyone my rich you can also help them by send some funds to there account manager that way the lord will be bless you so much that you will tell hime to stop. The check wll be received next week and as soon as you received it do let me know because have made arrangement with a local shipping company that will come for the pick up of the car form your location. Thanks, >Uche.. >
Getting even more greedy now, isn't he? Wow, I can send money for the children! He really thinks that he's got me now... notice how he called me Lauren even though I told him my name was Jenny. I can't wait to see how he replies to me next. I guess that I'll have to contact the place wherever he tells me that he's sending the check so that they won't think that there's a bomb or any crazy biological threat in it. The secret service might freak out or something and it'd be all my fault. I'm sure that other people have done the same thing, though. I'll forward them all of the messages that he's sent me. Anyway, see below for my reply. :) (btw, Cakes is still in the box, he's been in there for 9 hours now, go to Junkies Radio for info about the challenge... it's pretty funny... they're really torturing him.
ANyway, here is my latest email to Uche:
-----Original Message----- From: Lauren Grande [mailto:loveshoe@hotmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 11:56 AM To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
Hello again, Uche!
That is so wonderful that you believe in children. If only everyone were like you, this world would be a much better place. I am still interested in adopting one of them with curly hair and blue eyes! Do they have monkeys there, too? Some of those places here take in abandoned monkeys and raise them right alongside the children. What a wonderful program, since I am
also an animal lover. Do you love animals? Back to the children, though, I will be happy to send some money to their account manager if you would please give me the address. How much do you recommend that I donate? Do you know if that contribution would be tax deductible? The Lord cannot bless me anymore than he already has by allowing you to contact me about my car! Helping others in need is such a great feeling. You will notice on my listing that I posted that the car has been sold. I emailed them today to ask that my listing be taken down, since you are the buyer. So you can rest assured that I will have the car available for your shipper to come pick up. What address are you sending the check to, my work address? I hope so, because my neighbors like to steal my mail and that would be horrible if
they take my check! Then I might have to hurt them badly, like I hurt the neighbors who lived there before.
I'm looking forward to receiving your check and also for the motherless babies to drive the car! Please let me know as soon as you send the check so that I can be looking for it. By the way, where are you from again? I can't remember what you said before, my memory is kind of bad because of the lobotomy that I had a few years ago.
Thanks a bunch!
Jen
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:19 PM EST
car is sold! Mood: celebratory Now Playing: Sports Junkies -- Cakes is in the box!
It's over! I sold her to a really cool couple who live in Owings Mills. It was really sad handing the keys over... I know that it was time to move on, but it was still a little sad. :(
Now sweet Roxy will be my only vehicle!
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 9:37 AM EST
Fun with scammers Mood: mischievious Now Playing: Cry me a river Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
My "work address": United States Seafood, Frozen Crabs Department = United State Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division.
My "home address": MD State Police Barracks in Glen Burnie.
If this guy falls for my email, I'm just going to die laughing.
-----Original Message----- From: Lauren Grande [mailto:loveshoe@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 2004 11:32 AM To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
Hi Uche,
I'm sorry for not trusting you, but you can never be too sure these days! I'm glad that we got that all cleared away, because now I feel much better about all of this. And of course I want to get this done ASAP for you, since the car is for the motherless baby home... it makes me feel so good to help out those in need. Do you work with them, too? I take it that you are in London as well? I'd love to visit there someday. Maybe I could even visit the motherless babies while I'm there! I've been wanting to adopt for a while... are there any children there that you could recommend? My ideal child would have blonde hair and lots of freckles.
Anyway, I hope that having you send me the check will be okay. I'm still leery about giving out personal information... as a matter of fact, this account is under a false name, I'm sorry for misleading you. My real name is Jen, I hope that you don't think any less of me or don't want the car anymore. By the way, what shipper will you be using so I will know who I'm talking to if they call me? I am anxious to get the money... I have had the car for a long time and I have had trouble selling it. The dealer would only give me $50 if I traded it in, can you believe that?
Here is my information, if you don't mind, could you send it to me at work? If that's a problem, I've listed my home address.
Name: Jenny Craig Phone Number: 410-867-5309 Address: USS FCD 950 H St. N.W., Washington, DC 20223 (work -- United States Seafood, Frozen Crabs Department) or home 6800 Aviation Boulevard Glen Burnie, MD 21061
I'm looking forward to your response... I'm so glad that I can help the motherless babies... I know that they will love driving the car!
Talk to you soon!
Your friend, Jen
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: RE: PAYMENT Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 01:20:47 +0800
Hello Lauren, Thanks for the understanding. But i am more comforable with the transfer but if you do not like it i want you to forward the following information so that i will issue out a check with the fomation you will provied and this are the information needed from you they are:
FULL NAME: (that will be on the check) HOME ADDRESS: (were the check will be sent to you) PHONE NUMBER: (cell,home,office) As soon as i have this infromation a check will be issue out to you, and will wait for the clearing of the check before my shipper will come for pick if you are ok with this do get back at me because the car in question is for the motherless baby home in london. Do get back with this information as soon as possible.
Regards,
Uche Chima..
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 09:22:17 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
I'm sorry if you feel that I am being unfair, but I have been warned about a lot of scammers asking for personal information. I don't feel comfortable giving someone that I don't know my personal information. If you are not in this state, how are you planning on picking up the car?
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: RE: PAYMENT Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 18:06:18 +0800
What do you mean by calling me a scam, you can go to hell with your car for all i know. If i should ask you to give me your home that i will send you a check will you accept that for payment?
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 17:03:11 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: PAYMENT
I hope that you aren't trying to scam me. There is absolutely no reason that you need that information. I'll be happy to forward your information on the the FTC.
From: "uche chima" To: "Lauren Grande" Subject: PAYMENT Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2004 03:02:34 +0800
Hello Lauren, Thanks for the reply. I would have love to have a look at the car but am not in the state all i want you to do is to send me a pic of the car and i will wire the $1,500 to your account as soon as you provied me with the information below:
BANK NAME:
BANK ADDRESS:
BANK PHONE:
ACCOUNT BENEIFIARY:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
ROUTING NUMBER:
SWIFT CODE:
When i have all this information the funds will be wire transfer to your account as soon as possible do get back if you are ok with this deal. Uche..
----- Original Message ----- From: "Lauren Grande" Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 13:35:05 -0500 To: marcus1780@fastermail.com Subject: RE: Owner 52726703: AutoTrader.com: Vehicle Lead
Yes, the car is still available, and there are several people interested in it. If you would like to see it this weekend (or any other time), let me know.
Thanks, Lauren
From: dealerleads@autotrader.com Reply-To: marcus1780@fastermal.com To: loveshoe@hotmail.com Subject: Owner 52726703: AutoTrader.com: Vehicle Lead Date: Fri, 5 Mar 2004 12:24:57 -0500 (EST)
***VEHICLE LEAD***
The following lead was generated from AutoTrader.com's web site
http://www.autotrader.com.
VEHICLE INFORMATION Make: Volkswagen Model: Jetta Year: 1995 Price: 1500 Mileage: 159000 Body Style: Sedan Color: White Cylinders: 4 Cylinder Gasoline Transmission: Manual Doors: Four Door Stereo: Unavailable VIN: 3VWRB81HXSM016997 has NOT been MD inspected. This is a great little car, it just needs some TLC. Please email me if you have questions!
NO PHONE CALLS!
See additional photos & CARFAX here: https://loveshoe.tripod.com/loveshoeslittlenest/id10.html
BUYER INFO Name: uche chima E-Mail Address: marcus1780@fastermal.com Comments: IS THE CAR AVALIABLE $1,400.
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 11:57 AM EST
Out with the old... Mood: happy Now Playing: Depeche mode Topic: Football
Out with the old... poor Timmy Couch!
In with the... old??
Well, it looks like the Browns have found their new quarterback. Garcia is definitely better than Couch... hell, I'm better than Couch. I just hope that Garcia stays healthy for the Browns. I also hope that Garcia doesn't do any drinkin' and drivin' during his stay in Ohio.
Terrell Owens (aka T.O.) is causing a stink already. He thought he was going to the Eagles, but he was traded to the Ravens. I hope that he stays with the Ravens just to see Ray Lewis (aka Killer) put him in his place. I would PAY to see that!! I also don't want Philly to get T.O. because in the NFC East, McNabb to T.O. is just a lethal combination... the other teams wouldn't even stand a chance. Hopefully McNabb has continued to go downhill... he started out pretty shaky last season and never really posted the same kind of numbers that he did previously. Especially from a fantasy standpoint. McNabb is still a good QB, but I wonder if he's going to come back to his former glory. I sure hope not!!
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 10:02 AM EST
Foreign scam artists -- The beginning of the Saga of Uche! Mood: incredulous Now Playing: Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
It's funny how ridiculous these scams are. I've got someone in God-knows-what-forsaken-country (Nigeria, btw) trying to get me to fall for a scam. Following is my email conversation with them... you'll get a kick out of it!! I particularly like the "motherless baby home" approach!!
>From: "uche chima" >To: "Lauren Grande" >Subject: RE: PAYMENT >Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 01:20:47 +0800 > >Hello Lauren, > Thanks for the understanding. But i am more comforable with the >transfer but if you do not like it i want you to forward the following >information so that i will issue out a check with the fomation you will >provied and this are the information needed from you they are: > >FULL NAME: (that will be on the check) >HOME ADDRESS: (were the check will be sent to you) >PHONE NUMBER: (cell,home,office) >As soon as i have this infromation a check will be issue out to you, >and >will wait for the clearing of the check before my shipper will come for >pick if you are ok with this do get back at me because the car in question >is for the motherless baby home in london. Do get back with this >information as soon as possible. > >Regards, > >Uche Chima.. >
>----- Original Message ----- >From: "Lauren Grande" >Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 09:22:17 -0500 >To: marcus1780@fastermail.com >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > > I'm sorry if you feel that I am being unfair, but I have been warned >about a > > lot of scammers asking for personal information. I don't feel >comfortable > > giving someone that I don't know my personal information. If you > > are >not in > > this state, how are you planning on picking up the car? > > > > > > >From: "uche chima" > > >To: "Lauren Grande" > > >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > >Date: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 18:06:18 +0800 > > > > > >What do you mean by calling me a scam, you can go to hell with your > > >car >for > > >all i know. If i should ask you to give me your home that i will > > >send >you a > > >check will you accept that for payment? > > > > > >----- Original Message ----- > > >From: "Lauren Grande" > > >Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2004 17:03:11 -0500 > > >To: marcus1780@fastermail.com > > >Subject: RE: PAYMENT > > > > > > > I hope that you aren't trying to scam me. There is absolutely > > > > no >reason > > > > that you need that information. I'll be happy to forward your > > >information > > > > on the the FTC. > > > > > > > > >From: "uche chima" > > > > >To: "Lauren Grande" > > > > >Subject: PAYMENT > > > > >Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2004 03:02:34 +0800 > > > > > > > > > >Hello Lauren, > > > > > Thanks for the reply. I would have love to have a look at > > > > >the >car > > >but > > > > >am not in the state all i want you to do is to send me a pic of > > > > >the >car > > >and > > > > >i will wire the $1,500 to your account as soon as you provied > > > > >me >with > > >the > > > > >information below: > > > > > > > > > >BANK NAME: > > > > >BANK ADDRESS: > > > > >BANK PHONE: > > > > >ACCOUNT BENEIFIARY: > > > > >ACCOUNT NUMBER: > > > > >ROUTING NUMBER: > > > > >SWIFT CODE: > > > > > > > > > >When i have all this information the funds will be wire > > > > >transfer to > > >your > > > > >account as soon as possible do get back if you are ok with this >deal. > > > > >Uche..
> > > > > > Yes, the car is still available, and there are several > > > > > > people > > >interested > > > > >in > > > > > > it. If you would like to see it this weekend (or any other >time), > > >let > > > > >me > > > > > > know.
I'm thinking of having a little fun and seeing if they notice some info that I'm going to give them. I think that I'll give them my phone number... 867-5309!!
***UPDATED March 24, 2004 -- this entry is the beginning of the Uche drama***
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 4:07 PM EST
The Passion Mood: quizzical Topic: Miscellaneous goings-on
Even if you can stand violence, this movie was way over the top. I understand that Mel Gibson wanted to really make the audience understand the pain involved in Christ's torture and cruxifiction, but he definitely crossed the line making this movie. I know that he's the Son of God and all that, BUT there is NO WAY that he could have lived through everything that they put him through; Son of God or not. I probably wasn't watching for about a quarter of the movie; that's how gory it was. It was more like a slasher flick than a religious movie. There's a kid in our development who saw this who is only 12 years old?! And he told me that he didn't think it was violent, and that it was rated "R" for "religious"?!? What is this world coming to?? When we were walking out of the theatre, there was a church bus pulling up. I would say that I don't understand why people are going to see this movie, but hey, I went and saw it, too... so I have no room to talk I suppose. I must say that the acting in it was fantastic and that the film itself was well done. They just could have gotten their point across with about half the torture and 70% less blood.
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 6:49 PM EST
sunday sunday Mood: lazy Topic: Weekend happenings
I have to get in the shower in a minute... we're going to see the passion at 11. It's been a movie weekend; we saw Starsky & Hutch yesterday... it was pretty funny, although it started out kind of slow. Last night we went out to dinner with the neighbors... tried to find something to do afterwards, but Pasadena just isn't a place that you can really go out in.
I listed my car on eBay, no bids yet.
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 9:38 AM EST
I also found the whole story behind where these captions came from; This webpage celebrates the wonderful engrish subtitles featured in an asian bootleg DVD of Lord of The Rings - The Two Towers. What you see is exactly what appears on the TV screen. The first half of the movie has the most screengrabs, as there is more action than talking later on, and the subtitle writers eventually started getting the name of the characters right. Have fun! Here's a definition of the word "engrish" from an online dictionary:
"Engrish is a slang term which refers to an English language phrase that arose through poor translation of another language (usually Japanese) into English, or sometimes, poor translation of English into another language followed by good translation back into English. This used to be a frequent occurrence with product manuals, which might say something like "to make speed up find up out document", but it's less frequent today. Another source of poor translation is an unchecked machine-produced translation, such as that from the Babelfish service."
Another fun site I've found is Engrish dot com... I will now share with you some of my favorite things from that site. I would post more pictures from TTT botches, but I think that I would start laughing so hard again that I'd fall out of my chair and crack my head open.
Here are some funnies from Engrish.com... I keep finding more and more that are so funny! You just have to go to their website to see all of them -- I'll run out of space otherwise!
posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan
at 8:49 PM EST
suave
quizzical
mischievious
celebratory
happy
incredulous
lazy
happy
