more nigerian scams
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: LOTR soundtrack
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
I saw this article on Nigerian email scams today while looking at another Tripod member's blog. The website mentioned in the article, http://www.419eater.com/ I'm going to have to take a look at... this is from their website:

It doesn't matter if you are new to this 'sport' or a hardened veteran; if you're wasting the time of a scammer, or frustrating them in any way, well that's good enough for us!

So what is scambaiting? Well, put simply, you enter into a dialogue with scammers, simply to waste their precious time and resources. Maybe if you are VERY lucky you'll scam them out of some cash! Although this site concentrates mainly on the "419" type scam, we are happy to bait other types of scammers if and when the opportunity arises. Nigerian

Even if you are a 'newbie' much fun can be had. If you are new to this game and need to know what scambaiting is all about, please click on the 419 FAQ link at the top of the page. See also Baiting Tips for information on getting started on this great cyber-sport

We would encourage anyone to contribute to this site and the good cause of anti-scamming by joining in the fun on the FORUM where you can meet new friends and seek expert help, tips and advice.

Please feel free contact me if you have any suggestions for improving this site.

In the meantime, take a look around. I hope you enjoy your visit.


Time to head home... g'night!

P.S. If you are a new reader of my blog, you should check all of my "Uche Files" entries, as they will probably provide hours of mindless entertainment.

Greed rules supreme!
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Sports Junkies
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Got an email from "Gavin Brown"...

Ok, But can i have the tracking or is it come by regular mail if so do E-mail
as soon as you received these.
gavin..


I'm going to make up a fake check to send him and give him a nice note to tell him that the gig is up! Of course it's sad that the fun has to end eventually, but all things must come to an end. Hopefully I can get a few more emails out of him and Uche before it's done with. I do think that I've attained my objective: Wasted his time so that the time that he's been 'scamming' me, he isn't scamming somebody else!!

Damn! The gig may be up...
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Jason Mraz
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Got my email from Mr. Brown... I think that someone finally learned how to use the English language!!

I'm going to try to salvage my game if I can.

This is what he sent me:

I think you are in sane by saying you toast children please do not mail us again mad guy..


Uche hasn't emailed me back yet, I wonder if he and Mr. Brown talked, hehe.

Here is my response to Mr. Brown:

Hello Mr. Brown,

I am sorry but you are misunderstanding me! Here in the U.S. toasting is an expression of appreciation. I'm very sorry if you took it the wrong way. Perhaps you were thinking of the word "roast" instead of "toast"? The context that I should have used is that I have to give a toast to the children. I'm sorry, I immigrated to the U.S. when I was a teenager from Guatamala, so although my english is good for the most part, I sometimes mess up the words. Please forgive me! I had an event that night benefiting the local boys & girls club and apparently I used the wrong words. I hope that you will still except the check that I have sent.

With apology,
Jenny

Some clarification on the Uche thing
Mood:  chatty
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
A lot of people have asked me, "Has he sent the check yet?" "You're never going to get the check, are you?"

Let me explain the usual scam that these people play. Someone (me included) would list their vehicle on a website offering it for sale (i.e. Autotrader.com, cars.com, Autoweb.com, craigslist.org, etc.). The scam artist then contacts the person saying that they would like to buy the car -- usually without even asking for pictures, not asking any questions about maintenance the vehicle has had, etc... you know, usual things that a buyer would ask including price negotiating. They'll just say, "Okay, I'll send you a check." So they'll send you a check... but it will be for a few thousand over (or few hundred, however much they feel like ripping you off for) the asking price. They will say that they goofed and sent you too much or ask you to forward the balance to a 3rd party (usually a shipper or someone they supposedly owe money to in the U.S.). So you cash the check, the bank gives you the okay that it has cleared and you forward the extra money to the third party. Several weeks later, the check comes up as a fraud and you're left with the short end of the stick -- the bank will hold you liable! Of course, the scammer has disappeared and there is no way that you can get your money back.

I haven't gotten the check and I never WILL get the check, because I had the big dummy send it to the Financial Crimes Division of the Secret Service. I'm hoping that they will track the guy down, but I doubt it will happen.

If you have any questions about how this scam works, post a comment on this topic and I'll answer any questions you have.

Uche and Lawrencejoe/Mr. Brown/Sister Sharon
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Tori Amos - Winter
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer

Wednesday March 24, 2004 response to Uche
Hi Uche
I did get the email from Mr. Brown, I apologize for the late response. I was in Nigeria for a long weekend staying with relatives and had no computer access. When I returned, I found that Smeagol has been causing mischief, I'm sorry for his rudeness. I'll ask him to send you a personal apology. I still have not received the check; I do hope that it has not gotten lost. What service did you use to send it? Did you do anything for St. Patrick's Day? I know that holiday is quite popular in England! I ate the roasted babies in celebration of St. Patty's Day, they were quite tasty!

I'm afraid that over the weekend that my Ferrari was sideswiped by a donkey, is that alright with you? It didn't cause too much damage, it's just missing the engine... but I'm getting an estimate from the grocery store to fix it just in case. I've sent your friend Lawrencejoe a check for $4,000 for the children at the orphanage. Do you think that is a good sum or should I have sent more? I can still send another check! Well, I have to get back to consuming my llama. I hope that you are having a good week and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Your friend,
Jenny

Wednesday March 24, 2004 response to Gavin Brown (lawrencejoe)
Dear Lawrencejoe,
How are the children? I hope that they are doing well. I just sent in the mail this morning a check in the sum of $4,000 for the children. I do hope that this will provide some support for the children. I had asked your friend Uche about adoption, but he did not provide me any answer. When I visit the orphanage, would it be possible to take some children home with me? I would like to send them with Michael Jackson on his upcoming world tour. I bet they would love that, especially the little boys! Anyway, do you think that you could send me a receipt (through email is fine) for the donation, so that I may use it as a deduction for my taxes? How is the weather in London? I was visiting family in Nigeria over the weekend (that's why I haven't emailed in a few days) and it was pretty hot - at least compared to here in the U.S. - adjusting to 90 degrees after below freezing weather is pretty tough! Have you ever visited Nigeria? Well, Mr. Brown, I would love to keep chatting, but I have children to toast.. take care, now!
With love for the babies,
Jenny

Uche and Mr. Brown/Lawrencejoe emails
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Tori Amos -- China
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Here are the latest:


Friday March 19th received from Uche
Hello Jenny,
Have you received a mail from Mr gavin and the check will get you soon just
keep looking out for it, it will come in good time.
Uche..


Friday March 19th received from "Gavin Brown"
Hello Jenny,
We did not received your mail, because we were told by Mr uche that you have
sent us a mail but will did not received any mail form you that that is why will
did not sent you a mail but you can help us with any thing and the children will
be happy for that which you have done and you will never be forgetting in a long
time by the children.
FROM THE CHILDREN,
God bless you.


I think the next time I email either of them, I'll screw up their names and see if they notice.

hehehe!! this is getting fun again!!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: the night the lights went out in GA
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Uche emailed me today:

Hello Lauren,
The check was sent to your work address and as soon as you recived the
check do let me know as soon as possible.
Uche..

Pretty lame, right? Well, I decided to make up a false address and send him something from "Smeagol Stoors". For those who don't know, Smeagol is a character from Lord of the Rings -- he's also called Gollum. But anyway, you should see the movie if you want to know more -- right, mom?? I want the world to know that my mother walked out in the middle of Return of the King!! You know, that movie that just won 11 oscars?? Oh well, there's no accounting for taste, right?? ;-)

As I was composing my email from "Smeagol", I was delighted to get an email from the "Lawrencejoe" people. Now, I didn't want my hard work to go to waste, so as I had already composed my email, I sent it on to dear Uche. You can read the email that I sent Mr. Chima below.


-----Original Message-----
From: Smeagol Stoors [mailto:gollumofgladdenfields@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 18, 2004 2:14 PM
To: marcus1780@fastermail.com
Subject: motherless crunchy babies

Uche, my love,

We emails it to serves our master Jenny Craig. Our master Jenny asksed us to email it some questionses. It's friendses Mr. Brown has not emailed us yet. Does it not like us? We wants it to emails us as soon as possible so that we may send it's precious moneyses. Our master asks us to give you this message - we loves the babies, we needs the babies, we must have the babies! Sweet, crunchable babies! Please tell your friends Gavin Brown to sends us information to Mordor. If it does not, we must asks our friends Frodo to helps us. Please hurry before the lands is covered in shadow!!

We thanks you,

Smeagol Stoors


Then I got a chance to read the mail from the motherless babies home... lol...

Hello Jenny,
Sorry for getting back to you lately. How was health? Hope you are very okay now? We will be very grateful to see you in our mist when you come for the visting in uk to visit 30 children (ages 4-15) and 12 babies. about the picture of the children i will be sending that to you later. As you said about the sending check to us it will easier for us to received cash than check. Please try your possible best to send it through western union money tranfer. Whatever you want to send, send it to the address i sent to you.
Thank you for your concern may God rewards you abundantly (Amen).
WITH LOVE FROM THE HOMES AND THE CHILDREN WE WELCOME YOU.
Regards,
Mr Brown & Sister Sharon.


ROTFLMAO!!!! Yes, may God rewards me abundantly, AMEN!!!! Gee, it would be easier to send them cash, go figure! I can't believe that they are so stupid. I'm glad that they emailed me, because I was beginning to lose interest. :-P~

Sent another email to Uche
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Jack Johnson
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
First time I've sent him something in quite a few days. Hope that he responds! I'm having a creative block, though... it just seems that no matter what I write, it isn't that funny this time. He's so stupid that it takes the fun out of it.



Hi Uche

Viruses are no fun, are they? My computer came down with a nasty case of Mononucleosis a few weeks ago. Norton can't do anything to help that, you know! Luckily, it can't be transferred to humans or I would be in an even worse state than I am in now.

I emailed Mr. Brown yesterday, but I have not heard from him yet. I hope that all is well with him. I know that children sometimes turn into flesh-eating bacteria when you're not looking!

My hospital stay was unpleasant at the least, but I am out now. I returned to work yesterday but was running to and from the bathroom all day. I was confined to the bathroom stall for several hours and one time I didn't quite make it. Not fun. Last night I bathed in margaritas and I feel much better today, I am happy to report. I no longer think that I will die. So when can I come visit? My bags are packed and I'm ready to go! I will have to take my zoo with me, I hope that won't be a problem. There should be plenty of room for my ferrets, monkeys and llama. They could room with the children, I suppose... especially the monkeys. Their names are Rabies and Lice, named of course for what they carry. But don't let that bother you!

Do you have a tracking number for the check that you sent me? Which address did you send it to, my home or work address? You know I have to tie my neighbors up and leave them in the trunk of my car for a few days to make sure that they won't come near my mailbox. If you sent them to my work address, I'll leave them alone.

Hope that you're having a good week!

XOXO,
Jen

P.S. Do you have plans for St. Patrick's Day? I am planning on roasting some babies in a red wine sauce!

Don't have any definite plans for tonight... we may go to an Irish place in downtown Annapolis. Not into the corned beef & cabbage. An Irish guy (who is older, he only works once a week, really laid back) at work told me this morning that corned beef isn't correct -- most people eat ham & cabbage, not corned beef.

Ick!

Not a big fan of cabbage. There may be some Irish blood flowing in my veins, but I don't have the same taste in food. I don't even like Guinness!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

And so it continues... my first email to
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: George Michael -- Freedom
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
For those of you who haven't been keeping up, "Gavin Brown" is the account manager for the supposed motherless babies home. This is the email that I received from him last week...

From : lawrence joe
Sent : Thursday, March 11, 2004 11:16 AM
To : loveshoe@hotmail.com
Subject : Lawrencejoe Orphanage

Hello Jenny,
I know you will ask your self how do we get our E-mail
(Yes, I was actually wondering how you get your email!)
Mr Uche Chima gave also your E-mail that you will like to donate to the homes which is well come.
(Now it's more than one home or just bad English?)
You can send the funds to this information below by estern union money transfer today and the information are:
(Today? Demanding, isn't he?)

MR GAVIN BROWN (Wait... I thought this email was from Lawrence Joe? Aww, who cares?)
43 Prince Charles Crescent
Malinslee
Telford
TF3 2JY
UK

As soon as the money is transfer Via western union money transfer i will need the following information from you to collect the funds here, and they are:

SENDER'S NAME/ADDRESS:

RECEIVER'S NAME:
(Wouldn't you already have the receiver's name? Or you just have so many identities you have to remember which one to use!!)
TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER:

MCTN (CONTROL NUMBER):

As soon as will collect the funds a letter of thanks will be send to you from the homes to say thnaks for the help.
(So nice of them, isn't it?)
And the children we appericate all you have done for them for a long time, because Mr Uche Chima is doing the same for us right now.
(Mr. Uche Chima is such a nice guy, isn't he?)
Do get back at us.
(Oh, I will... and I am!!)
WITH LOVE FROM THE HOMES AND THE CHILDREN WE WELCOME YOU.
Regards,
Gavin Brown
Account Manager
Lawrence orhanage. (Was that Lawrence orphanage or Lawrencejoe orphanage??)


Now it's my turn!!! :)


Hello Mr. Brown,

I am incredibly sorry that it has taken me such a long time to respond to you. As Uche can tell you, I have been dreadfully sick for the past week. I fell ill after eating a tainted egg and ended up in the hospital over the weekend. Today is my first day back to work and let me tell you, it has not been pleasant. I have been running to and from the bathroom all day...my co-workers will not go near the toilet. This morning I didn't quite make it to the restroom and had quite an embarrassment pooping my pants. Can you relate to that experience? But that's enough about me; I am here to ask you about your sweet yummy babies and how I can help them. Where in London are you located, might I ask? I am planning a trip to the UK this summer and would love to see the children that I've helped. If that is not a possibility, would you be able to send me some pictures of them? I am also interested in adopting... my ideal child would have yellow eyes and red hair. I would love to send the sweet babies money through Western Union, but there are two problems: 1. The nearest Western Union is an hour away and 2. I need a receipt for my taxes. Is this contribution tax deductible? So I would prefer to send you a check. Could I send you a check to the 43 Prince Charles Crescent address? Is there an address for the orphanage so that I can send them cards? I would love to send the children cards - and chicken gizzards! I feed them to my ferrets, did Uche tell you that I have ferrets? I bet the children would like to play with them... perhaps I can bring them with me on my trip for the children to play with. After the UK I am planning to travel to Nigeria to visit some relatives, they live in Lagos, have you heard of it?
I forgot to ask, who at the orphanage will be receiving the Ferrari that I'm selling? I'm sorry to ramble on so long, but I don't have very many people to talk to. Well, it's time to go to the lavatory again, I'm afraid. I hope that I make it this time! I'm looking forward to speaking with you very soon.

Yours truly,

Jenny

P.S. Could you put in a good word about me to Uche, I find his generosity attractive and I'm wondering if he is married or dating anyone?


*sigh* I will be so bored when he stops playing!

posted by a cautiously optimistic Redskins fan at 3:51 PM EST

Updated: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 4:43 PM EST

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I don't think he pays any attention to what I'm saying in my emails
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Sports Junkies - 99.1 HFS
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Hello Jenny,
Am sorry for get back at you late there was virus in my computer so it was
formated. I hope all is well with you now. As for the check is has been sent and
you will have it soon. The chlidren have you sen dthem any thing for the
development of the homes i believed you will have done by now and i know they
will be playing for you in my heart and i know the good lord we be with you. Do
get back as soon as you received this mail.
Regards,
Uche..



Is it possible for his English to get any worse???