Etiquette hell and lunchtime accidents
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Picture -- Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow
Topic: Jokes & Funny stuff
As I was coming out of my therapist's office during lunch today, I witnessed the tail-end of an accident at the Route 2 (Ritchie Hwy) and Woods Road. I heard a loud crash and looked up to see that a high-end SUV (either a Lexus or Mercedes; couldn't tell because the front end was rather smooshed) had plowed into a crappy old Dodge Neon (probably a mid 90's model). Well these three women pile out of the Neon and they're all like, "I don't believe she hit us!" "She ran the light" and were generally bitchy. I'm sure that I would be, too had I gotten hit, but they had a real attitude about it. Of course it was Suzy Soccer Mom in her expensive SUV that hit them, so I'm sure that's going to be lawsuit city! I don't know if she was talking on her cell phone, putting on lipstick in the mirror, reprimanding her child in the backseat or late to a charity event, but I'm sure that it was one of those things that caused the accident. Everyone walked away unharmed from what I could see, but I bet when the ambulances showed up (after I'd left) the women probably said, "Oh, my neck! Oh, I'm so traumatized!"

Seeing the damage that SUV did to that little car further solidified my negative feelings towards SUV's.

As I was doing some research on my Urban Legends Reference Page, Snopes, I happened across a great website -- Etiquette Hell... check it out if you have some free time. I'll have to submit some stories about my co-workers!

Rebates
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Emiliana Torrini -- Gollum's Song
Topic: Work
These rebate center people don't have a clue. I'm including this letter with my submission:

March 30, 2004

Rebate Processing
Dept. # 03-63970
P.O. Box 028542
Miami, FL 33102-8542

Reference: Missing UPC Code

Dear Rebate Center:

I have tried to contact your offices by email and phone with no success (can't get a real person, only a recording). We purchased our notebooks and carrying cases through PC Connection. The carrying cases came in clear plastic bags with no markings other than the obligatory "Please do not place bag over children's heads" warning. I used to work in a rebate center and I remember telling customers to send the title page to their user's manuals and such... but these have no user's manuals or pretty much anything else that I can send you, unless you'd like me to take a picture of the bags! I can probably get you the original receipt/invoice from accounting if that will suffice. We are submitting for 4 rebates; I've highlighted the number of items ordered on the invoice. I've made 4 copies for your records, since I can't find answers to any of the questions that I have. I'm submitting this on behalf of our IS manager, Kurtis Hartley, but if there is any other information that you need, please contact me.

Thanks!

Lauren Grande
Phone: 410-647-6000 x191
Fax: 410-544-8508
lgrande@jharms.com

P.S. I am copying this letter to the resubmissions office in hopes that they will contact me to resolve this issue should it arise.

cc: Resubmissions


I had sent the rebate center an email reading this yesterday:


>Hi,
I've tried calling a bunch of different customer services numbers and can't seem to get a live person. Anyway, I'm submitting for the free port notebook carrying case ($69.95) offer; we purchased 4 laptops with the 4 cases from PC Connection. When our laptops & cases arrived, the cases came in a clear plastic bag; no UPC codes to be found. We have no user manuals or anything, the only thing that we have is a copy of the rebate form & packing
slips.
Please get back ASAP since this has to be in the mail tomorrow.
Thanks!


Here is the response that I received from them this morning:
Dear Lauren Grande:

Thank you for your rebate inquiry. We apologize, but we are unable to locate your submission and your Promotion Code 03-63970 in our database. Your rebate submission may have been misdirected or lost in the mail. If it has been longer than four weeks since you sent in your rebate request, please mail or fax a copy of your UPC barcode, sales receipt, and rebate form to:

Rebate Special Services
PO Box 028516
Miami FL 33102-8516

Fax Number: (800) 886-8370
Please allow 5-7 days to process your fax.

Please understand that you are resubmitting your original rebate request, so it will take up to 8 weeks to receive your rebate.

Also, if your initial submission was not sent to our processing centers in Texas or Florida, you should contact the store where you made your original purchase to locate the correct rebate processing center.

We appreciate your participation in this promotion. If there is anything else we can do to assist you, please contact us at rebates@parago.com. We are always happy to help. You can also track the status of your rebate at www.RebatesHQ.com.

Bolivar
Promotions Customer Service


Yeah... I'll uh... just send those UPC bar codes that I told you I don't have!!!

So I sent them this email:

That was not my question!

My question IS that our cases did not come with a UPC code; they were in plastic bags. What should we send?

I do have a tracking number now, it is: 58924038

Thanks for your response.

Lauren Grande


The response that I received from them:

Dear Lauren Grande: Rebate ID: 58924038

Thank you for your rebate inquiry. Our records indicate that we are awaiting the supporting materials for your online submission. Please allow up to 4 weeks after your original mailing date to process your rebate, and an additional 2-4 weeks to receive your rebate. Please note that the check will be printed on a postcard and will not arrive in an envelope.

We appreciate your participation in this promotion. If there is anything else we can do to assist you, please contact us at rebates@parago.com. We are always happy to help.

You can also track the status of your rebate, using the Rebate ID above, at www.RebatesHQ.com.

Wilber Caminero
Promotions Customer Service


ARGH. There is definitely some kind of language barrier here or maybe there is just a computer sending me some kind of automated response. How frustrating!

So I sent them this email a few minutes ago:

Are you even reading what I'm writing?

Is there a phone number that I can call to speak with someone?

Lauren Grande


I have little patience for those with no comprehension of the English language. That is, unless they are trying to scam me and then I have a great time! Well, rebates are a scam, so I guess this would qualify.

I have 6 proposals to finalize for Captain Jackass by 3pm, so I'd better get to them.

some things never change
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Friends and Family
I decided to look up some old friends' bands today. It's amazing that they still act the same way they did when I hung around them. I will only give you the link to one of the bands... they are a hardcore band, but seem to be the lesser of two evils. My friend Rich has played drums in quite a few different bands, one morphs into another... he was playing with Grendal (defunct) when I was in high school, then Grub came later (defunct), then it was Decline... and Decline have changed their names now to Recourse. If you go to their site, be sure to have the volume down or off, because the start page is a little loud!

Anyway, two members of the old band (Grub) formed a new band with some other people and are doing their own thing now. It seems that not too much has changed though... they're still all about getting wasted. Which is a shame really, because they really do have talent. Or should I say did have talent. They play up at Thunderdome sometimes.. maybe I'll go just for the hell of it. Maybe they'll open for a band that I want to see. (not likely)

Well, I have to read my book before American Idol and 24 come on. Tomorrow I'll show you a letter that I wrote to a rebate center today. I hope that they think it's funny and give us our rebates.

That's it for now.

Good night!

sooo sleepy
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Tori Amos -- Spark
I really want to go home. Today hasn't been all that bad, but I think that I waited too long to ask about that monitor... my neck has really been hurting and I now have a headache. I just can't win! We didn't get to sleep last night until almost 1, partially due to watching School of Rock (with Jack Black, very cute movie) and it getting over around 9:30... and the sheets were still in the dryer, they weren't done until 10:45... Kurt was playing his guitar, so we didn't get in bed until around 11:30... then we started hearing weird noises and we couldn't figure out what they were... still don't know, but we think that our neighbor Tom was doing something in his house with a power tool of some kind. The noise was pretty creepy to tell the truth. I've been reading too many scary books, I guess. Tried to read until 12:30 or so.

Friday Stef came up & we had a great time. At least I did, lol... I'm assuming that she did, too! We exchanged Christmas presents and then went out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse... after that, we decided to have an adventure and went to Stevensville (Kent Island) to see Corey & Dave of LC play acoustic at a place called Cafe Iguana. It was an incredible show, one of the best that I've seen them do. They even played Purple Rain for me! That song cracks me up when they play it. That was the first time that I'd seen them do it without the rest of the band and it was just as hilarious. We missed part of the first set, but we caught the 2nd and 3rd. They played a lot of covers, maybe a little over half cover tunes and the rest were originals. It was just about a perfect mix. One of the girls there tried to molest Corey... she put her number in his pocket. Of course he's so little that she could have probably picked him up and carried him home with her, haha. Saw JB up there, too... he was hanging out with some people that I didn't know... but he came over and talked to me & Stef for a while. Looks like he's lost some weight... not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, he seemed a little awkward, I can't really explain it. He seems like he's doing okay, though -- I hope that continues for him. I also saw TJ (aka Toe) from back in my punk rock/ska days. I didn't talk to him, though... saw no reason to since he is rather morally deficient. Quite proud of myself actually... I'm trying to surround myself with better people than I used to. I'm not being a snob, I'm just trying to make my life more enjoyable.

I had something weird with my bank happen... I deposited $100 from my one account to the other (by check) about a month ago. Never showed up. So I did it again, (and it went through) not thinking to call my bank to check with them as to what happened last time. Well, it showed up today so now I have to do a switcheroo so that none of the checks I wrote bounce. What fun! Under the deposit description, it says "Unknown location". So silly.

Well, I have to get back to work. Only an hour and a half left! :)

it's officially over
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Tori Amos -- Tear in your hand
Went to the Glen Burnie MVA at lunch today to return the tags to my Jetta. That has been the most painless experience that I've ever had -- I was in and out in under 3 minutes, no lie! The longest I had to wait was at the information desk to see where I had to go... went to the tag return line where they were just finishing with the guy before me. I gave the clerk my tags, told him that I didn't have my registration card.. he says, "No problem. What's your address?" I started to give it to him and he goes, "Okay!" Then the printer starts printing a receipt. He hands it to me and says "You should get your refund by mail in a couple of weeks." Me: That's it? Him: That's it!

Pretty cool! So I just dropped the Jetta from my policy... very happy about that. I went to the MVA AND ate lunch in an hour. Pretty proud of myself. Of course, on the way there (on route 10) the traffic was moving at a good pace (around 60 and the speed limit is 55)... so I get in the middle lane so that the people going 70 can fly right by me. Well I notice that the idiot in front of me has slowed down considerably... so I get into the left lane to pass him... then I see why everyone was slowing down: there were cops up ahead under an overpass -- I should have known, too, because they're ALWAYS there. Fortunately when I looked down I saw that I was doing the speed limit and everyone else was doing 5 under. I always figure that you look less guilty if you're going a few miles above instead of the people that slam on their brakes every time they see a cop. They've already got you by the time you slam on your brakes anyway, so what's the point? But that would figure, I'm only a few months away (knock on wood) from having my last ticket and accident taken off my record and it's my luck that I'd get pulled over on my lunch hour. Anthony did tell me that red cars are a cop target. That's all I need! It was easy not to speed in the Jetta, but my Civic is so quiet that you don't realize how fast you're going... you can be doing 70 and the pedal is barely down; you don't even notice! I love that car so much... Kurt and I were on our way somewhere the other day and I had to stop at the ATM... when I got back in the car, I just backed up to get out of the space and he goes, "Wow, I didn't even know the car was on, I was wondering why you didn't turn the key to start it!"

I've got a headache that just won't go away, it's really annoying. I'm wondering if part of it is allergies. I now have last-minute plans for tonight and I'm a little concerned about them. Stef called this morning around 11 to say that she was going to be in the area... she is supposed to be having dinner with her parents tonight and then she's coming to my house & staying the night. I'd completely forgotten that she was going to be in the area this weekend and originally the plan was that we would see Dave & Corey play at Armadillo's tomorrow night, but now something fell through that she's not going to be here all weekend. Soooooooo now we're going out tonight. And of course I feel like crap. It always seems to happen that way. *shrug* Don't know where we're going or what we're going to do. I'm thinking we may be able to just go to a movie or something. I definitely don't want to spend the night in a smoky bar. I guess that I could check some of the dock bars around here to see if they have any local music playing.

Well, time to do phones! Maybe more later.

Greed rules supreme!
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Sports Junkies
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Got an email from "Gavin Brown"...

Ok, But can i have the tracking or is it come by regular mail if so do E-mail
as soon as you received these.
gavin..


I'm going to make up a fake check to send him and give him a nice note to tell him that the gig is up! Of course it's sad that the fun has to end eventually, but all things must come to an end. Hopefully I can get a few more emails out of him and Uche before it's done with. I do think that I've attained my objective: Wasted his time so that the time that he's been 'scamming' me, he isn't scamming somebody else!!

Damn! The gig may be up...
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Jason Mraz
Topic: Uche, the idiotic scammer
Got my email from Mr. Brown... I think that someone finally learned how to use the English language!!

I'm going to try to salvage my game if I can.

This is what he sent me:

I think you are in sane by saying you toast children please do not mail us again mad guy..


Uche hasn't emailed me back yet, I wonder if he and Mr. Brown talked, hehe.

Here is my response to Mr. Brown:

Hello Mr. Brown,

I am sorry but you are misunderstanding me! Here in the U.S. toasting is an expression of appreciation. I'm very sorry if you took it the wrong way. Perhaps you were thinking of the word "roast" instead of "toast"? The context that I should have used is that I have to give a toast to the children. I'm sorry, I immigrated to the U.S. when I was a teenager from Guatamala, so although my english is good for the most part, I sometimes mess up the words. Please forgive me! I had an event that night benefiting the local boys & girls club and apparently I used the wrong words. I hope that you will still except the check that I have sent.

With apology,
Jenny

A great Easter Blonde Joke
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: LAB -- Sometimes she cries
Topic: Jokes & Funny stuff
I get quite a few forwards and jokes emailed to me every day. You know the kind -- send this back and you have friends, forward this to 10 people or your leg will get gangrene and fall off, etc.. Anyway, I've decided to share with you a hilarious blonde joke that my friend Ray sent me today... he is one of the few people who always comes through and sends me good stuff. So I've made a new topic "Jokes & Funny stuff"... I'll try to post some of the things that I've gotten that I deem worthy of posting (or that I still have). One that I'll definitely share is my Office Space-esque "Useful phrases you can use at work".

Anyway, here follows the Blonde joke:

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder.

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."


St. Peter fainted.

Lots of stuff
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Fountains of Wayne -- Stacey's Mom
Topic: Miscellaneous goings-on
Where to start...

I woke up this morning with a migraine... what fun! Got up & took my medicine, slept for another hour and I was in to work by 11am. Not too shabby, I'm learning how to finally handle them. I have a dentist appointment at 12:20, so I knew that I had to get up pretty early. While getting ready, I was thinking about what was on TV tonight... I'm thinking, "Oh, cool... Survivor is on!!" Then I realized -- IT WAS ON LAST NIGHT AND I FORGOT!! Doh. I can't seem to find any repeats, either... I don't want to look too hard, because then I'll find out who got voted off. I'm on CBS's website and I'm sure that I'll see who was voted off. Oh well.

So I get to work and what do I see first? That Heather (the girl who bought my Jetta) sent my tags back, YAY!!! :) So that's great news, I was getting concerned that they were going to screw me over. Then a few minutes ago, I get an email saying that Greenmachine is back in business! Unfortunately there's been a line-up change and my friend Ron is no longer with the band. Oh well! I haven't talked to him in a long time, so I don't know what kind of circumstances the whole thing happened under. Won't stop me from seeing them though, hehe.

Well I have to get to the dentist.. hopefully it will be quick.. since I got one of those power toothbrushes, my mouth should be money!

Opening paragraphs of my Glamour entry
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: Incubus
Topic: Miscellaneous goings-on
I'm a posting fool, aren't I? And I'll probably post more when I get home, too!

I wanted to cut & paste this before I went home tonight so that I could work on it when I got home. I'm entering an essay contest that Glamour magazine is sponsoring.. I'll give all the details when I get home and find the magazine. Anyway, here is how it starts... opinions please!

My story is one of self-improvement and resilience, but also dumb luck. I say dumb luck because it is amazing that I've survived to be 24 years old, which I turned on the 19th of April. In my 24 years, I've experienced more than some (sheltered) people have in their lifetime. It is miraculous that I arrive at this point in time unscathed by the events that shaped me into the person I am today. I can't change the past and wouldn't want to, since I would be someone entirely different. Two years ago I would have given anything to be someone else, but lately I have realized that being me isn't so bad.

I grew up on the outskirts of a small town on the eastern shore of Maryland: an urban retiree's dream, but a teenager's nightmare. My parents decided to move to Denton from their house in Glen Burnie; a suburb of Baltimore. I've spent much of my life trying to get away from Denton. If I weren't actually plotting my escape, I was daydreaming of the freedom that would soon be mine: to hang out whenever I wanted at Marley Station. Hey, everyone needs dreams, right? I had two unsuccessful attempts fleeing Denton, once by car and once with my friend via bicycle. On my first try, I made it twelve miles to what was then a shop that sold seafood and is now a place that is now Cutesy Country Crap. I'm sure that it's a front for the KKK and they just spelled it with C's to be politically correct. That first time attempted was with my best friend Stefani in eighth grade. For reasons now beyond my understanding, Stef and I were inspired to ride our bikes to Annapolis by the then-popular song "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum. Oh, now I get it! "Wrong way on a one-way track" meant that you shouldn't run away, right? "Run away, but it always seems the same" meant that you can't run away from your problems. We did make it pretty far considering the forces working against us; a group of quacking ducks threatening to wake up her parents and a cold drizzly night. On my second attempt at 17, I made it all the way to the Americana Circle apartments across from Marley Station mall: only a five minute trip from where I live now. As a matter of fact, during the same time period, I had my first car (an '84 Toyota Supra) break down right in front of where I now work! Now that's definitely weird.